A Public Service Announcement

  I always liked “The Sword of Damocles,” because it seemed true to me, I believe we still teach this lesson but via Marvel movies: “With great power comes great responsibility.” The idea was that the top guy gets cool stuff, but that he faces a whole host of threats—because he’s the top guy. In modern times, the idea has been to “de-risk” these (and all) threats, but the subtext of the painting is that you can’t. To put it in words:  “With great power comes great responsibility.” I had a point… …probably.

  Is that true? Does it get darker late at night, or is that sort of a tautology that as soon as dawn begins, the sky is definitionally getting lighter? In any case, I yearn for some good news. As it stands, I have been traveling all summer, in an attempt to restore my vision. I _think_ it should work, because I have a full field of vision. Moreover, I think my vision was stereoscopic until my fiancée left. In fact, I can remember my vision getting worse. The thing is, I don’t recall how “good” it got. Memories are notoriously unreliable. Either way, tomorrow I see yet another eye doctor, and I’m increasingly optimistic. I mean, you can read this, right? Anyway, there’s a lot to do. I feel like throughout my life, the prevailing wisdom has been “YOLO.” In a nutshell, because we do not live forever, it’s our responsibility to have fun. To some degree, I was a believer. However, now I know first-hand we have a lot of work to do (and still I see no flying cars). It should be a human v...

Back before I understood what it meant that You Only Live Once (YOLO for short), I preferred the weekend cuz it meant a break from my external responsibilities for a couple days. Now, I prefer the week. I think I previously thought the big problems were solved. I no longer think that. On the personal front, we have a lot of work. Officially I had a cryptogenic stroke. That alone means we have a lot of work to do. “I dunno” should not be an acceptable answer, firstly. Secondly, why are strokes even still a threat? We get two chances to not be affected long-term: 1. The event itself. 2. The recovery. As a result of the stroke I experienced, my entire life changed—which makes me lucky! I remember reading a while back that strokes shouldn’t even happen anymore, yet they do. People eat too much salt and live in too hot of climates, and those threats are intensifying. Recently, I told a driver that extreme temperatures are a stroke risk factor, and he simply didn’t believe me. And as a pale ...

Ever since I regained consciousness and discovered I had experienced a few strokes, I’ve found mundanity challenging. I used to spend time like this with my ex, but now I’m all alone and have to entertain myself. And I realize I’m very lucky to have made it into my 40s, to have lived, and to not have married someone who was well-positioned to take all my stuff (or even half!). I am lucky to have so few impairments, along with many desires (I want a Ferrari but not its insurance bill lol). And so I’m a little stumped. I know how to pass the week:  various therapies, drawing, and weightlifting. But weekends are more of a struggle. My friends are with their families, and the week is winding to a close… so what do I do? With vision, …I could probably draw more haha… no, really though… with vision, I could walk without a cane, and I could drive again. Though, I am currently away from home, so I have no car. I suspect I’d feel more comfortable being out and about if I had stereoscopic vi...

I was a long-distance runner back when I was growing up, as I took “athletics” instead of “PE” when I got to 7th grade. I had long hair back in ‘92 (Nirvana Rules!) , which was antithetical to the mores of the area. I was also not a stand-out player or in with the cool kids. As such, I didn’t make the team, and I was relegated to track (lol). I also sucked at track at that time, but we didn’t know that yet. And frankly, it didn’t really matter because track was pretty uncool: win, lose, or draw. Anyhow, I “ran” track because I didn’t want to be one of those dudes who joined Athletics but played no sport—that was against my ethos. Plus, I knew it was _possible_ to stay in athletics despite not having played a sport all year, but that was shameful, so far as I could tell. Anyway, I’m digressing. I forget the point. That’s the problem with these tiny phone keyboards.

  (I may be mixing metaphors here sorry.) Tonight, a childhood friend of mine told me that his social worker mother learned of my situation and assured him it’s very common for spouses etc to leave when tragedy befalls their partner. To me, this proves that talk is cheap. It also suggests the diamond may be far longer-lasting than the relationship. Anyway, I try not to let that whole thing bring me down. I mean, we all make mistakes, right??? I’d much rather recover than cry over spilt milk anyway. Plus, I knew talk is cheap. I basically had it coming! Anyway, just keep swimming. As the dead kid in American History X says, “Life’s too short to be pissed off.” And like Donald in Adaptation says, “That’s her problem, not mine.” If I have a lingering concern, it’s that this was my chance… but like, Scrooge McDuck seemed happy, firstly. Secondly, I have bigger fish to fry, at the moment. And when those fish (keep on swimming) are fried, I have a lot I want to do. Being angry is time-co...

  Back in college, I was a French major. Although I chose French because that seemed to be my fastest way to get a college degree, I found that studying French paid lots of dividends, particularly as my best friend studied Philosophy. The French, you see, were generally … No clue what I was gonna write there. I just got out of acupuncture, and I think it’s working because my glasses seem to be getting worse. I guess that’s good, and I’ll see the eye dr soon, as I appear to need new glasses now. Anyway, the French… they’re cool. But everyone has benefits & drawbacks. What can you do about it? Complain?

If it’s not apparent, the title of this _piece_ is a line from Vanilla Sky. I’ve thought about that movie often since having a stroke (or more than one, as it were). There’s a scene where Penelope Cruz explains that she does not have a “mothering bone” in her body that has replayed in my head for months. Like maybe my fiancée left me because I needed too much babying? That has been a thought that crossed my mind. Anyway, if I recall correctly, Tom Cruise continues to wear his mask (facial prosthesis) even tho his face is fine. I guess he doesn’t realize it’s been fixed(?). I had a similar experience the other day. I sucked it up and went to the eye doctor to explore surgical options, and the eye doctor explained I don’t need surgery, that I can see. I was dumbfounded. I will return for another glasses fitting, and I can go to a specialist if necessary, but it sounds promising. And without surgery PHEW. Anyway, I’m drifting. It’s also occurred to me that blogging is _over_. Each generat...