The Only Way Out is Forward

I wanted to call this “Just Put One Foot in Front of the Other,” but I apparently already used that title…

I am in my hotel room in New Hampshire, where I’ve been reading today. And I’m …bored? Like, I don’t really know. My stroke cost me friends, but so did my engagement. And so when my ex left, I also found myself needing to replenish my friends as I work to recover from a stroke. And now I recognize I don’t just want friends, as was the case previously. Indeed, I’m finding that it’s beneficial to be much more deliberate now.

And so I sit here and await my dinner. I spent the afternoon contemplating whether to sell my house, and then I took a nap. In principle, I want friends, but I have a lot to do, and I don’t want to get derailed further. As soon as my ex allowed me home*, I was preoccupied with ensuring she was OK, when really that should’ve been reversed.

I did some cleaning earlier, too. Tomorrow I see the eye dr who does vision therapy. She says the problem is my eyes don’t work as a team, and so I commonly have double vision or something erroneously in my field of vision. They fit me for glasses, but as soon as my eyes figure out the prescription, they move again. The good news is this means my eye hardware works. From what I understand, the plan is to train my brain to just ignore conflicting imagery.

My hope is this is quick. I got some training lenses and noticed my eyesight changed quite quickly. Like it was as if my brain was trying to figure out the game, and by the 3rd time I wore them, I was seeing double again. Does this mean I adjust or did I not notice I saw double previously? Brains—how do they work?

* was it really my ex’s choice whether I can come home to MY house? I say “No.” I say, with friends like these, who needs enemies? I say, “Dude, you dodged a bullet when she left!”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back in Texas

  Well, I’m back in Texas at my house after a few months away. I went to Chicago, then Boston very briefly on my way to Portland ME, then Nashua, then Ithaca, then I stopped over in Chicago again before coming back to my house. I wanted to share what I learned………….. as soon as I learn it! In summary, this is what I’ve learned or remembered: 1. Never give up:  results only come at the end. 2.  Talk is cheap:  people say shit they only mean if they don’t have to prove it—and often. 3.  Be True to Yourself:  that is often said, but what does it mean? Humans have been around a while, but we have a lot to do. It would be foolish to waste your life on one other person when we have so much to do (and don’t get me started on flying cars). 4. Level up:  as far as we know, we get this life. Make it count. After my father passed when I was a boy, I was raised by my mother. While I was fortunate to have two parents until then, every configuration presents challeng...
Read more

Politics

I was really into punk rock music in high school. As such, I was extremely interested in politics at a young age. Eventually, I deduced that politics was a sewer, and I quit paying attention (while I was still too young to vote). Then, however, George W. Bush was elected, and I was like, “Somebody better do something!” Nobody did. Instead, the folks who elected Bush learned _nothing_, and they proceeded to elect Trump. Now, we’ve got Trump running again against Joe Biden, who was running back when Bush was in office (and I think once before that, too). My first blog entry was back in early 2003, and it was indirectly about politics (I just remembered I wrote a few posts before that, but I digress). Now, over 20 years later, we’re dealing with the same nonsense with no end in sight, and the country is in worse shape. Moreover, far more people care now, as they see politics as an extension of their identities. I’m working on a new theory (which probably means this is a whole dissertation...
Read more

Growth

I’m currently flippi—oh! Happy New Year! by the way. I’m currently flipping through a Picasso book I got, and I’m noticing that he was producing works we call Cubism before his thirtieth birthday. Yet he would live another 60+ years. This immediately makes me think of Benicio del Toro’s character in the Basquiat movie, who laments that you have to find a style, then do it long past the time you wanted to, because that’s your style.  On one hand, you’re lucky to have found a popular style. On another hand, it seems like everything gets stale eventually. Anyway, I forget my point, but I bet it was good!
Read more